Various SantaCon Songs
SANTA IS INVADING YOUR TOWN
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You better break out
The Bourbon and Rye
Tequila and Gin
I'm telling you why
Santa is invading your town
He see you when you're naked
And when you're smoking pot
And when you're masturbating
Ev'n when you cop a squat, so:
You better break out
The Bourbon and Rye
Tequila and Gin
I'm telling you why
Santa is invading your town
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WINTER WONDERLAND
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Dish out lines, I am listening
Chug the booze, snow is glistening
It's cold, that's alright
We'll get some tonight
Screwing in a winter wonderland
At the outhouse we can build a snowman
And pretend that he is Parson Brown
He'll say are you married, we'll say no man
But we just fornicate and fool around
Later on, we'll perspire
As we fuck by the fire
And face unafraid the mess that we've made
Screwing in a winter wonderland
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WALKIN' ROUND IN WOMEN'S UNDERWEAR
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(to be sung to "Walkin' In A Winter Wonderland")
Lacy things -- the wife is missin',
Didn't ask -- her permission,
I'm wearin' her clothes,
Her silk pantyhose,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear.
In the store -- there's a teddy,
Little straps -- like spaghetti,
It holds me so tight,
Like handcuffs at night,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear.
In the office there's a guy named Melvin,
He pretends that I am Murphy Brown.
He'll say, "Are you ready?" I'll say, "Whoa, Man!"
"Let's wait until our wives are out of town!"
Later on, if you wanna,
We can dress -- like Madonna,
Put on some eyeshade,
And join the parade,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear!
Lacy things... missin',
Didn't ask... permission,
Wearin' her clothes,
Her silk pantyhose,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear!
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FAVORITE THINGS
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Halogen uplights and big-muscled fellas
Pink puffy draperies and drinks with umbrellas
Brown Puerto Rican boys tied up with string
These are a few of my favorite things
Penthouse magazine and silicone breasts
Girls dressed in leather with tatoos on their chests
Blonde lesbo orgies, a quick mid-day fling,
These are a few of my favorite things.
When the whip cracks (oww)
When the cane stings (ooo)
When I'm feeling bad
I just think of a few of my favorite things,
And then I get hard...for Dad.
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LET IT SNOW, LET IT SNOW, LET IT SNOW
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Well the traffic outside is frightful
But the drugs are so delightful
And since we've got lines to blow
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow
George W. scored us an eightball
And we're feelin' 50 feet tall
Still higher we wanna go
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow
(Melody changes)
When we finally lick the mirror
We can really start chuggin' the beer
And when we tap out the keg
We will start gnawing your leg
Yes the traffic outside is frightful
But the drugs are so delightful
And since we've got lines to blow
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.
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LET IT FLOW
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The weather outside is frightful, but the beer
inside's delightful.
And since we've no place to go,
Let it Flow,
Let it Flow,
Let it Flow!
Oh we show no signs of stopping, and now we're really
hopping.
And the lights are turned way down low.
Let it Flow,
Let it Flow.
Let it Flow!!
When we finally drink it dry, how we hate going back
to the store.
Maybe we'll just get high, and all fall asleep on the
floor!!
Oh the party is slowly dying.
And our friends have all stopped buying.
Now my bladder really wants to know.
Where to go,
Where to go,
Where to go???
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DECK MY BALLS (the classic)
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Deck my balls with boughs of holly,
Fa la la la la, la la la.
Tap the keg, inflate the dolly,
Fa la la la la, la la la.
Don we now our rubber panties,
Fa la la la la, la la la.
We're a bunch of twisted Santies,
Fa la la la la, la la la.
Naughty girls are such a treasure,
Fa la la la la, la la la.
These North Poles were made for pleasure,
Fa la la la la, la la la.
Fucked the elves, fucked all the reindeer,
Fa la la la la, la la la.
Fuck the cookies, bring us COLD BEER!
Fa la la la la, la la la.
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FROSTY THE COKEHEAD
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Frosty the cokehead was a crazed neurotic soul,
With a big glass pipe and a vial of crack,
And no sense of self control.
There must have been some poison in that last dime bag
he got,
For when he took his first big hit he dropped dead on
the spot.
Frosty the cokehead doesn't worry anymore,
Cuz when all is said, and your cold and dead,
Then you never have to score.
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O COME ALL YE PERVERTS
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O come all ye perverts
Come and have an orgy
O come ye, o cum ye
In brothels galore
Come and get plastered
And let's find some ho-girls
O come let us enjoy them
O come let us enjoy them
O come let us enjoy them
In brothels galore
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WRECK THE HALLS
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Wreck the halls with bricks and hammers
Fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la
'cause we're so mad at the landlord
Fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la
Don we now our shrapnel jackets
Fa-la-la fa-la-la la-la-la
Get the weapons, let 'im have it
Fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la
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CRASHING THRU THE SNOW
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Crashing through the snow
In a one horse open sleigh
O'er the cliff we go
Shreiking all the way
Bells and sirens ring
Marking where we crashed
They put us in intensive care
They don't think we will last
Jingle bells, funeral bells,
ringing all the way
Oh what fools we were to ride
in that one horse open sleigh
Jingle bells, funeral bells,
ringing all the way
Oh what fools we were to ride
in that one horse open sleigh
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WHEN THE SAINTS COME MARCHING IN
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Oh when the saints,
come marching in,
all wearing red and drinking gin.
You'd better stand back, Mr. Shopper,
When the saints come marching in.
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JUST ANOTHER SANTA RAMPAGE
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tune of "Winter Wonderland"
Drunken Santas, will be reelin. No pain will they be
feelin!
Red suits will be stained, from the booze that they've
drained.
Just another Santa Rampage!!
You can tell, they've been drinking,
Pretty soon, they'll be stinkin
Drunk as a mule, with a beard full of drool
Just another Santa Rampage!!
Have you ever seen this many Santas?
Stumblin and a� lookin like a fool?
Don't you wish that you could be a Santa?
Smokin and a� drinkin, being cool?
Why we're out here, is Just Because!
We are rebels, with a Claus.
So grab a suit and beard.
Come on and get weird
Join us on a Santa Rampage!!
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YOU BETTER WATCH OUT
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tune of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town"
You better watch out, get out if you can.
A red suited menace is sweeping the land.
Coz Santa Clauses are coming to town.
Get out of the way of our fake black boots.
We're flooding the city with cheap red suits!
Santa Clauses are coming to town
We know what you've been up to. You've made the
naughty list.
So cut us in for our fair share, you don't want these
Santas Pissed
OOHHHH, get out of the way of our red suited wave
Is this anyway for St Nick to behave.
When Santa Clauses HAVE COME TO TOWN!!!
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WE ARE THE SANTA RAMPAGE
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tune of "We Wish You a Merry Christmas"
We are the Santa Rampage, We are the Santa Rampage,
We are the Santa Rampage, Now give us some Beer!
We want some Beer Pudding, We want some Beer Pudding,
We want some Beer Pudding, But we'll settle for Beer.
We won't go until we get some. We won't go until we
get some.
We won't go until we get some. Have we mentioned the
beer?!
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HERE COMES SOME SANTA CLAUS'S
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tune of "Here comes Santa Claus"
Here comes a Santa Claus, There goes a Santa Claus
Right down Michigan Ave!
Many are weaving, some are heaving, that ones missing
teeth!!
Amidst the red suited whirlwind, one flashed my
girlfriend,
That just doesn't seem right.
But as they say, it'll be OK, Coz Santa Claus came
tonight!
(pelvic thrust at "came tonight", repeat line/thrust)
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HARK SATANIC SANTAS SING
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Hark Satanic Santas sing
Sing about the naughty things
Piece of ass, wicked and wild
Come and touch me evil child
Joyful all ye demons rise
Terrorize the Christian skies
With blasphemous hosts proclaim
Glory to the Devil's reign
Hark Satanic Santas sing
Glory to the Devil's reign
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WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS
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We wish you a Merry Christmas
We wish you a Merry Christmas
We wish you a Merry Christmas now bring us some beer!
Refrain:
Good tidings we bring to you and your kin;
Good tidings for Christmas
and we really do want some beer.
Oh, bring us a frothy cold one;
Oh, bring us a frothy cold one;
Oh, bring us a frothy cold one;
and some shots of good cheer
Refrain
We won�t go until we get some,
We won�t go until we get some,
We won�t go until we get some,
So bring some right here!
(Repeat, repeat and repeat as often as necessary and
with staunch determination until desired result is
achieved!)